Robert Joseph (Jr.) Cary

June 1, 1953 ~ January 27, 2020 (age 66)


Rob was born in Springfield, Massachusetts on June 1, 1953 and died in his hometown on January 27, 2020 at the age of 66. A Cathedral High School graduate of 1971, Rob attended UMass, Amherst before he and his wife Marian Balestri served in the Peace Corps in Fiji. In 1986, Rob graduated from UConn School of Law and settled in Stonington, CT to raise their family: a son, Augie and a daughter, Gigi. He returned to Springfield in 2011. Rob’s diverse interests included practicing law, serving on Stonington’s Board of Education, and working for the Mashantucket Tribal Nation on child neglect and abuse cases. Rob loved to travel and visit historical sites related to music, art, and baseball. He religiously followed the Red Sox and recently took his picture with Carlton Fisk. Rob was a voracious reader. On a particular year, he might decide to read the entire Harvard Universal Classics, the 51-volume anthology of classic works from world literature. Then he would do it. He was passionate about and proud of his children, nieces, nephews, his family and friends. Rob loved to hear and share stories of their adventures and achievements. He was approaching a decade of sobriety. Over those years he was dedicated to helping others in recovery using his legal experience and other skills. Rob was always willing to lend whatever he had to help a friend in need. As committed as he was to helping others, Rob was unwilling to ask for help with his own struggles. He suffered from physical and mental health issues and experienced financial setbacks. Lately Rob quietly isolated himself from his many friends and relatives. Rob is survived by his children August and Georgia, ex-wife Marian Balestri (of Rhode Island). He was predeceased by his parents, Robert and Clare Cary. He also leaves behind his siblings, their spouses, and 11 nieces and nephews: Susan (Larry) Wilbraham, Sarah (late husband Jim Yost) Richmond, CA, Christopher (Mary-Anne) Cape Elizabeth, Peter (Janine) Cape Elizabeth, and Stephen (Kelly) of Springfield). Rob leaves a great sadness in the hearts of his many friends. A period of visitation will be held for Rob on Sunday, February 2 from 12 noon to 1:30 PM at Hafey Funeral Home, 494 Belmont Avenue, Springfield, MA, followed by a service in the funeral home at 1:30 PM. Burial will be private. In lieu of flowers, remember Rob with a donation to one of the charities important to him: The Southern Poverty Law Center (, the Electronic Frontier Foundation (, and the Behavioral Health Network (www.





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February 2, 2020

12:00 PM to 1:30 PM
Hafey Springfield Chapels (Springfield)

Funeral Service
February 2, 2020

1:30 PM
Hafey Springfield Chapels
494 Belmont Avenue
Springfield, MA 01108

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